Cat Caesar

Caesar was very lonely. In the morning, the family went on business, and he spent the whole day dozing on the couch in an empty apartment. When it became unbearable, Caesar moved to the table and looked at the fish in the aquarium. Fish fumbled in an awkward way in the algae, swam to the glass, swarmed at the bottom. Maybe they could talk, but Caesar never heard them. He tried many times to draw attention to himself, but the fish just stupidly poked through the glass into Caesar’s wet nose, and were silent.

Once in six months, a lady was brought to see Caesar. Usually it was a frightened creature, with pronounced signs of the breed and empty lascivious eyes. She timidly crossed the threshold of the apartment, and then long zhalas in the corners, each time snapping, if Caesar approached her. When Caesar got bored with stupid courtship, he became rude and not restrained.

Then the lady was taken away and as a rule, she did not appear any more. But instead of one, they

brought another, with the same exclusion of every intellect.

In the summer, Caesar was leaving for the Crimea to visit my old people. There he spent three months lying in the shade of an apricot tree, sometimes condescending to communicate with depraved southern cats. Walking outside the garden, he went exclusively accompanied by a servant – my wife or daughter. He, slowly acting on a leash of a huge Persian cat, was often mistaken for a small smoky dog. And the surrounding animals, arranged real tantrums near their gateways. And only when they saw the opponent closer, they tightened their tails and retired. All the attempts of a good-natured Persian to find friends broke up against his awesome dimensions and a huge muzzle with a flattened nose.

This summer, when the cat went on vacation, mice got into the apartment. It’s not that they seriously interfere, but they make some discomfort, running through gray shadows in their mouse cases. Therefore, I waited for Caesar’s arrival with special impatience.

The cat drove into the apartment in his favorite basket. He looked rested, his cheeks

swollen with gluttony and idleness, the fur glistened.

– Master. – He rushed to me with a joyful yell. I took it in my arms, and we rubbed our noses. Caesar sprawled on his shoulder and purred in his ear:

– Hozzjain, I got acquainted with a cat with a taaaakka! They promised to bring her to us, – he choked with mumbling: – I’ll introduce you to her, she wants kittens.

– Listen to the guy, while you were dangling over the cats, mice appeared in the apartment.

“Where are you hiding them?” He narrowed his eyes crookedly and rubbed against my cheek.

– I do not hide them, they themselves…. One, in my opinion, lives in the storeroom, and the other I saw under the cupboard.

He looked at me incredulously: – All right, all right…. I’ll eat a little…. I’ll sleep… and then we’ll play with you.

In the evening we watched TV and again, from the corner of my eye I saw a mouse that had slipped past. Before his wife could scream, Caesar jumped:

– Master. You’re the one who started here. – the flattened nose of Persian stretched out and became like a fox, and his eyes fell out of their orbits and hung on thin threads.

– It’s a mouse. – shouted the cat in a bad voice, – what mice, sho you tell me!

From excitement, he erupted Little Roerich “sho” and poperedo recruited for the summer rudeness.

“Do you think I have not seen the mice?” He climbed under the couch and rustled.

A minute later a fat ass appeared, crowned with a dusty fluffy tail. He still rustled and pulled out from under the couch frayed over the summer muzzle. In the teeth was clamped a gray mouse – a toy from a pet store. Caesar came up to me and spit it out on the couch.

– Well? – he stared at me with a winning look. – And who is this, in your opinion? I’m asking you. Do you think that once a cat is on vacation, can you drag any creature home?

He turned his back to me and sat in the middle of the room:

“Everyone tries to offend the orphan,” he muttered under his breath. I took the cat in my arms and stroked it:

“You see, Caesar, you have a toy, but you saw real mice today.” Only they are not turned on, they come themselves. There is nothing good in them, only troubles. They spread the infection, shit anywhere, and can even eat your food.

He looked at me incredulously.

“So you’re not in my place, are not you?” They are not yours and I can take them. – then his back tightened, and he looked at me in horror:

– So they, what? Maybe they’re eating from my bowl. – He jumped up and ran to his plate, meticulously sniffed it.

– And they are shitting where? – He again broke from the spot and rushed to the toilet.

I took the excited Caesar into my arms and, stroking, continued the educational conversation:

“And in general, if you still did not know, I’m telling you that cats are meant to catch mice.”

He looked at me with mistrust.

– Yes, dear, to catch, and there is! – I began to get irritated with aimless bickering.

– So they will not feed me anymore. Maybe now they’ll reproach us with a piece of sausage? – He jumped off my knees and rushed to the kitchen.

– Come here! – A victorious pause from the kitchen was heard a minute later. – Look, look. And this, what do you think is doing?

He rubbed against the feet of his wife, who cooked cat’s soup.

– And yet… . stop fooling around, you have to catch the mice! You can not even eat them.

The cat did not speak to me for two days. I came home from work, and he pretended that he was too busy with his own affairs. About the mice, we no longer remembered, but I believed that the cat’s instincts will take their. And I did not see mice anymore.

And one night, working at the computer, I went to the kitchen and found a cat at the crime scene. He was sitting in front of his bowl and looking tenderly at her. In the bowl sat two little mice with the ecstasy of pecking some crumbs. I do not know how they agreed with Caesar, but I was clearly not afraid of the mouse. Caesar got himself pets.

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Cat Caesar