Home ⇒ 📌Brief contents ⇒ “Conduit and Shvambrania” Kassil in brief

“Conduit and Shvambrania” Kassil in brief


Main characters: mother, father, Oska – younger brother, Annushka, Marfusha, cousin Mitya, zemsky, director, Tsap-Tsarapich, inspector, Athos Recruit, Pharaoh, Joseph, Atlantis, Bindyug, Arkasha, Latin teacher – Tarakanus or Longer, the teacher of history “e-muet”, the teacher of French, the commissioner Chubarkov, three aunts, the military La Bazri de Bazan, Kirikov – the man with the toadstool, Dina.

Conduit

Oska and I lost the queen of our father’s chess, he put us in a corner. We came up with a new game: to play in the country – Shvambraniyu. Then the queen was found, but by that time my father had already cut another, and we made the old queen the guardian of the Schwambran mystery, imprisoned her in the grotto, which was taken from my mother. So we played for several years. Our country on the map was depicted in the form of a tooth, and around it were the oceans. Our Schwambrania waged wars with Balvonia and Caldonia. I

was a tsar, and Oska was a postman who brought letters with a call to the war. Our country has always won. All the inhabitants of the country are seafarers and water-workers, who walk on Breshka. The most important navigator is Jack, a companion of sailors, he is a polyglot. We represented our house in the form of a large steamer. The father is the home captain. Dad – a good man, always jokes, but when we got from him, my mother served ” a silencer. “My father was often called to the hospital at night, we went to the tarantay until my father threw us into the ditch, Oska liked to fish goldfish from the aquarium, and then bury them in a matchbox, and once dad brushed his cat’s teeth, and she scratched his hands, after which the father bought us a little kid, who then ripped off all the wallpaper, chewed up his father’s trousers, for which he was given back. I read the book “Around Us” and learned from it how they do it. all of them are confusing. He met once with a priest in the park, which Rogo took for a woman, and the priest told Oske about God, Annushka took us to a wedding in
the church, and we came up with the idea that Shvambrania is a heavenly kingdom, and the priest in our country was called the Hematogen, we divided all heads into: liquid, solid and gaseous. On catholicity came to us cousin Mitya, who was expelled from the Saratov gymnasium for disrespectful reviews of the Law of God. His sacred duty is to do mucks to superiors. The commercial meeting hosted a masquerade ball, we were also invited. Mitya wants to annoy Zemsky. To this end, he decided to take with him Marfush, whose suit is a large postal envelope with a fair margin of Marfushi stamps. Martha took first place, for which she was given a gold watch. Zemsky became interested in her and wanted to know who she was, but she was stolen. Afterwards, the father said that it was our servant, and Zemsky’s face turned purple. Someone on the porch Zemsky screwed up a very big bot with a letter: who will approach, she will be zemstvo boss. He realized that it was Mitya, and he was reprimanded. I was admitted to the gymnasium. We spent the summer in front of the gymnasium at the dacha. The day before the classes I was shaved head and on the first day of the gymnasium I was torn off buttons. We went with my mother to the pastry shop and met the director there. We could not visit various places of entertainment – they immediately got into a conduit. Conduit is a book where all our tricks and passports were recorded. They called her the “Dove Book”, because we had greatcoats of the same color as dove-doves. We were very afraid of the director. Zap-Tsarapich kept following us all the time to fulfill the requirements of the conduit. But the inspectors loved. When we were punished, he kept us standing for an hour, and then let go home. Earlier in Pokrovsk instead of calls there were wire pens, but the doctor held a bell in his apartment with electric batteries. A little later he appeared at all. In the shaman lived Afonsky Recruit – a jack of all trades, who repaired calls to all. Often we visited him, discussed books. Once in the People’s Garden there was a fight, and the director banned walking there. All the gymnasium students began to resent this story, but Oska found a way out: in protest, cut off all calls in the city. The whole city was registered with the Athos Recruit, but the calls were still cut off. No one else put himself, except the chief of the zemstvo, and put Pharaoh to him, but the call was cut again. The bailiff ordered Pharaoh to find thieves. Pharaoh gives bribes, but Joseph is silent. Pharaoh had in his hands a ragged manifesto, in which was the name of the zemstvo son, and he reported everything to the director. Pharaoh came for Atlantis, Bindyug himself came to the director. All eight were expelled. Joseph came to the director and said that all the gymnasiums + the son of the Zemstvo had been cutting the calls, and asked us to go back to the gymnasium again. Now the orders in the gymnasium have become tougher, the teacher of Latin – Tarakanus or Dlinnoshee – especially puts us 1 and 2 very hard, the history teacher raises the guilty for the whole lesson, the Frenchwoman always takes offense. Once I escaped from the janitor, running on the roofs, and met a girl Taisa. I dedicated it to the secret of Schwambrania, and she opened the secret to some boy. We play with Oska in the war, Claudius is a prisoner. She received a letter from her son, in which it was said that his hand had been cut off, we pitied her very much. We make dirty tricks to the teacher: the gunpowder explodes under his soles, powder and pepper were poured into the tobacco. The teacher went to complain to the director. We meet wounded soldiers, the spirit of the time imbues us, Oska carried a ring from the toilet in a hole with a portrait of Nicholas II. Us with a female grammar school drove to the main small town to show an exemplary fight. End in 1916. On December 31, parents went to meet people to celebrate the New Year. I was visited by a classmate Grishka. We went to the street with him and saw a horse in the harness of one rich man and decided to go for a ride. But the horse still could not stop. Then Zap-Tsarapich came out, and the horse halted as luck would have it. He said he would write us in a conduit and leave us after the holidays for 4 hours without dinner. He asked if we were allowed to go for a drive, to which we answered “yes.” He decided to find out, sat on the horse, she chased. At this time the owner came out and saw that the horse was stolen, and called the police. After the holidays Tsap-Tsarapich did not remember this incident. Oska made an important conclusion: The earth is round, because the globe is round. He called Lyosha and said that the revolution had overthrown the tsar, and asked me to give it to my parents. I went out into the street, I wanted to shout to everyone about the revolution. Zap-Tsarapich noticed me and wrote it down in a conduit. In the gymnasium everyone told this news. In the classroom hung a portrait of the king, and we shoved a burning cigarette into it. It turned out that Nicholas II is smoking. Through the fence we pass notes to the girls’ gymnasium, they are also for freedom. Atlantis heard that teachers want to overthrow the director. The director did not come to the demonstration. The Committee expels the director, he forgets to put on his ears in a hurry. The director went to seek help from the parent committee. The director came to the secretary and met with Oska. He calls it the Withered Eye. Parents are afraid of freedom for children – they will dissolve. In the gymnasium, they cancel the marks, instead of them: choir, ud., Unsuccessful, bad, exc. Arkasha is smart, he started to study free of charge in my class. Arkasha is in love with Lyusya. But her mother is against it. He sank, began to learn worse, then he heard that there were no more Barinov, and wrote her a letter. He was snatched up by the teacher, read and ridiculed Arkasha before the class. And then Arkasha understood: the world is still divided into paid and free.

Schwambrania

Everywhere there were meetings, rallies, I also wanted to participate in them. We gathered a group of Boy Scouts and did good deeds. The end of the conduit has come: we burned it together with the diaries at the stake near the gymnasium. The summer of 1918, we spent in the village of Kvasnikovka, struck nettles and destroyed grebes, found a huge fly-agaric. For our absence, the Breshka has changed, the wine store of one rich man was defeated. Our gymnasium was united with the female. We went there ourselves and chose our girls for class. Still newcomers from the higher primary school arrived to us, but they did not like us. The girls came up with a new game – “peepers.” In the evenings, dancing was arranged and we watched that the boys from the “B” class did not dance with our girls. In the gymnasium tea was given with a refined sugar, which was a deficit. I dragged sugar home and put it as an untouchable stock. I was in the dining room distributor of sugar. Bindyug offered sugar, which remains, divided into two. I refused, he set me a footboard and I bruised my forehead. Osku was taken to school, and I taught him how not to be beaten. “Glyadelka” forgotten, all were carried away by the French struggle, and Oska, among others. We have a new teacher of history “e-muet”, we liked it. Our gymnasium began to wander around the city. We catch up with algebra, the teacher remains with us after school, parents are shocked. Our class offered class “B” to measure forces in algebra. We were preparing for this day before midnight, and we could only walk up to 11, and the patrol took us. We said that we went to the pharmacy for castor oil. Champion – Bindyug, our class won. But it turned out that Bindyug was writing off, so fame and sugar were divided into two classes. The commissioner asks us to stay after the lessons and draw posters about the syepnyak. Although there was a great desire, but we stayed. After that, the commissar got sick, he had typhus, the temperature was 41. The commissar recovered, but was still weak. They transferred him to an apartment, I brought him books. On the wall he had a poster on which the Red Army man pokes his finger. I look at him, and he looks at me, as if we are playing peeks. I brought him my sugar for tea, but before me they also “tried” and brought it. Cape Oskoy introduced mortality in Schwambrania, Oska said that on the street a soldier asked him about Schwambrania. I think that Oska believes in her true existence. At school, he told us about our country, he was assured that there was none, and the soldier did not ask about Schwambrania, but about the headquarters. Three aunts came to visit us. One does not pronounce “p”, the other – ” l. “They decided to take up our education, we moved to another house, the pope said that people are miserable slaves of things Children, learn to despise things We broke up the dish, to which the pope said we are vandals and before we despise things, you need to learn how to protect and earn them. “Mom was not at home, and at that time they took the piano.” Mom was shocked: under the lid was a valuable bundle of foreign fragrant soap, and we added Schwambran documents to it. “I’ve played for all the polka, chastushki, and my mother was an overture from” Prince Igor. “Everything was and delighted. The commissioner recovered and was settled next to us. Oska played with him in the “Lapki-Chopka”, then his father joined in. In another room was occupied the military La Bazri de Bazan, whom his aunts called the Marquis, in the third room the commission on struggle against desertion has settled down. We had a packet with soap, Papa called Cheka, found a parcel from the Marquis, and also found our maps of Schwambrania, we had to tell the boss about our country, which caused him a fit of laughter. We again moved. Our aunts took us to the theater every day. Lunacharsky. Pokrovsk seized the craze for theater. Even children’s studios opened, where they also recorded us. Dad went to the front, and I was the main man in the house. The hungry times have come. I give literacy and numeracy lessons per month for a pound of meat. Sugar from my untold stock is eaten only on weekends. Mom changed the shell grotto to a quarter of kerosene. In Schwambrania, there came a period of decline. She was placed in the palace of the Ugry. Oska and I examined the dead house and fell into the basement. Someone grabbed us. It was Kirikov – a man with a toadstool, he invented an elixir there. Dina’s cousin moved to live with us, she liked us, and she also pinched her aunt’s tails. Dean was taken as the head of the library. There we organized a literary circle. The commissar fell in love with our Dean. Dad fell ill: he had a sypnyak, Atlantis died. In Schwambrania we are already bored to play, Oska and I went to the alchemist. It turned out that he did not an elixir, but a simple moonshine. Soon came my father, yellow with a long beard and lice. Our library again wants to close, because there is no firewood. We offered to dismantle Schwambrania for firewood. So our country did not become. The commissar fell in love with our Dean. Dad fell ill: he had a sypnyak, Atlantis died. In Schwambrania we are already bored to play, Oska and I went to the alchemist. It turned out that he did not an elixir, but a simple moonshine. Soon came my father, yellow with a long beard and lice. Our library again wants to close, because there is no firewood. We offered to dismantle Schwambrania for firewood. So our country did not become. The commissar fell in love with our Dean. Dad fell ill: he had a sypnyak, Atlantis died. In Schwambrania we are already bored to play, Oska and I went to the alchemist. It turned out that he did not an elixir, but a simple moonshine. Soon came my father, yellow with a long beard and lice. Our library again wants to close, because there is no firewood. We offered to dismantle Schwambrania for firewood. So our country did not become.

The cover was renamed Engels. I was recently in Engels to congratulate Father Oske: he had a daughter. Oska still confuses the words. We read with him all about Schwambrania, remember childhood. Everything has changed in the city. Even in Schwambrania this was not.


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“Conduit and Shvambrania” Kassil in brief
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