“Praise of Nonsense” of Rotterdam in brief
Stupidity says: let the gross mortals talk about her as they please, she dares to assert that her divine presence, only one, cheers the gods and people. And therefore now the laudable word Nonsense will be spoken.
Who, if not Nonsense, should become a trumpeter of his own glory? After all, lazy and ungrateful mortals, diligently honoring her and willingly taking advantage of her benefactions, have not bothered to pay tribute to the praise of Stupidity in a thank-you speech for so many centuries. And here it is, Stupidity, the generous bearer of all the good things, which the Latins call the College, and the Greeks Moria, personally acts before all in all its glory.
So, since not everyone knows from what kind it happens, then, calling to the aid of the Musa, first of all Stupidity expounds its genealogy. Her father is Plutos, who, not in anger
It will be said to Homer, Hesiod, and even to Jupiter himself, is the only and authentic father of gods and people. To whom
Born Stupid on those Happy Islands, where they do not sow, do not plow, but gather in barns. There is neither old age nor disease on these islands, and you will not see there in the fields either wolves, beans or similar rubbish, but only lotuses, roses, violets and hyacinths. And they fed the child with their breasts, two adorable nymphs – Mete-intoxication and Apedia-Blemishness. Now they are in the retinue of the companions and confidants of Nonsense, and with them are Colakia-Flattery, and Summer-Oblivion, and Mysoponia-Laziness, and Gedon-Delight, and Anoya-Madness, and Trife-Gluttony. And here are two more gods who have become involved in a girlish round dance: Komos-Razgul and Negretos. Hypnos-Nebudbudny dream. With the help of these faithful servants, submits Stupidity
Having learned what kind, what kind of education, and what is the suite of Stupidity, prick up your ears and pay attention to the blessings that she bestows on the gods and people and how her divine power extends widely.
First of all, what can be sweeter and more precious than life itself? But to whom, if not to Foolishness, should the sage call if he suddenly wishes to become a father? After all, tell me honestly, what kind of husband would agree to put on a bridle of marriage, if, according to the custom of the wise, first weighed all the adversity of married life? And what kind of woman would allow her husband to come to her if she thought and thought about the dangers and torments of childbirth and the difficulties of raising children? So, only thanks to the drunken and gay play of Nonsense born to gloomy and gloomy philosophers, and porphyry sovereigns, and thrice pre-Holy high priests, and even the entire plentiful swarm of poetic gods.
Moreover, everything that is in a pleasant life is also a gift of Nonsense, and now it will be proved. What would earthly life be if it was deprived of pleasure? The Stoics themselves do not turn away from enjoyment. After all, what remains in life, except sadness,
Boredom and hardship, if you do not mix a little bit of enjoyment with it, in other words, if you do not fool her with stupidity?
The first years are the most pleasant and happy age in a person’s life. How can we explain our love for children, if not by the fact that wisdom has enveloped babies with an attractive cover of stupidity, which, enchanting parents, rewards them for their labors, and gives the babies love and care for them, necessary for them.
Childhood follows youth, What is the source of the charm of youth, if not in Nonsense? The less clever the boy is at the grace of Stupidity, the more pleasant he is to everyone and everyone. And the more people leave from Stupidity, the less it remains for him to live, until at last the painful old age comes. No mortal would have endured old age, if Stupidity had not taken pity on the unfortunate and would not have rushed to their aid. By her grace, the elders can be considered not bad drunkards, pleasant friends and even take part in a cheerful conversation.
And what are the lean gloomy people who are attached to the study of philosophy! Before they were young, they were already old, persistent thoughts dried their life juices. And fools, on the other hand, are smooth, white, with a sleek skin, real Acarnian guinea pigs, they will never experience the burdens of old age, unless they infect it by communicating with clever men. No wonder the folk proverb teaches that foolishness alone can keep a fast-running youth and postpone a hateful old age.
And you can not find on the earth no fun, no happiness, which would not be gifts of stupidity. Men born for government affairs and therefore received a few superfluous drops of reason, marry a woman, a cattle silly and dumb, but funny and sweet, so that she is stupid and sweetens the dreary importance of the male mind. It is known that a woman will forever be a woman, in other words – a fool, but what attracts them to her men, if not Stupidity? In the Nonsense of a woman – the ultimate bliss of a man.
However, many men find the highest bliss in drinking. But is it possible to imagine a merry feast without the flavor of Stupidity? Is it worth to burden the belly with snacks and goodies, if
This eye, ears and spirit are not delighted with laughter, games and jokes? Namely, all this is done with stupidity for the benefit of the human race.
But, perhaps, there are people who find joy only in communicating with friends? But even here you can not do without stupidity and frivolity. What’s there to talk about? Cupid himself, the culprit and parent of any rapprochement between people, is not he blind and does not it seem to him ugly beautiful? God is immortal, how many divorces would be everywhere, or worse, if husbands and wives had not brightened up and facilitated home life with flattery, jokes, frivolity, delusion, pretense and other satellites of Nonsense!
In a word, without Nonsense, no connection would be pleasant and lasting: the people could not long bear their sovereign, the master – the slave, the servant – the mistress, the teacher – the pupil, the wife – the husband, the lodger – the householder, if they did not regale each other honey of stupidity.
Allow the sage to feast and he will immediately be confused by gloomy silence or inappropriate questions. Call him to dance – he will dance like a camel. Take him with you to some spectacle – he alone will spoil the public any pleasure. If the wise man interferes in the conversation – all scare no worse than a wolf.
But let us turn to the sciences and the arts. There is no doubt that any thing has two faces, and these persons are by no means similar to one another: under the beauty – disgrace, under learning – ignorance, under the merriment – sadness, for the benefit – harm. Eliminating a lie means ruining the whole view, because it is the act of hypocrisy and pretense that captures the spectators’ eyes. But the whole human life is nothing more than a kind of comedy in which people, having put on their faces, play each of their roles. And everyone loves and pampers fools. And the sovereigns, those fools love, no doubt, more than sullen wise men, for the latter have two languages, one of them speaks the truth, and the other speaks according to time and circumstances. Truth in itself is characterized by an irresistible attraction force, unless something is offended to it,
Everyone is happier than the one who is all crazier. From this test, people who love stories about false signs and miracles are baked and can never get enough to listen to fables about ghosts, lemurs, natives of the next world and so on; and the more these fables disagree with the truth, the more they are more likely to believe. However, one should also remember those who, reading daily seven verses from the sacred Psalter, promise for that eternal bliss. Well, is it possible to be more stupid?
And do people ask the saints something not related to Stupidity? Look at the thanksgiving offerings, with which the walls of other churches are decorated up to the roof itself – will you see among them at least one donation for getting rid of stupidity, for the fact that the bearer has become a little smarter than a log? It’s so sweet not to think about anything, that people will refuse everything, only not from Moria.
Not only most people are infected with stupidity, but entire nations. And here in self-delusion the British declare exclusive claims to bodily beauty, musical art and a good table. The French only attribute themselves to pleasant courtesy. The Italians took the lead in elegant literature and eloquence, and therefore remain in such a sweet seduction that of all mortals only themselves are not considered barbarians. The Spaniards do not agree to give up their military glory. The Germans boast of high growth and knowledge of magic. Hand in hand with self-deception is flattery. It is thanks to her that everyone becomes more pleasant and nicer to himself, and in fact this is the highest happiness. Flattery is honey and seasoning in any communication between people.
They say that it is misfortune to be mistaken; on the contrary, do not be mistaken – that’s the greatest of misfortunes! Happiness does not depend on the things themselves, but on our opinion of things, and knowledge often takes away the joy of life. If the spouse is extremely ugly, but seems to her husband to be a worthy rival of Venus, is it really as if she were truly beautiful?
So, either there is no difference between sages and fools, or the position of fools is not in the best example. First, their happiness, resting on deception or self-deception, gets to them much cheaper, and secondly, they can share their happiness with most other people.
Many people owe everything to Nonsense. There are among them grammars, rhetoricians, lawyers, philosophers, poets, speakers, and in particular those who dabble paper with various nonsense, for who writes in a scholar is worthy of regret rather than envy. Look at how such people are tormented: they add, change, delete, then, in about nine years, they type, still dissatisfied with their own work. Add to this the frustrated health, withered beauty, shortsightedness, early old age, yes all and not enumerate. And our wisdom thinks of himself as rewarded, if two or three such blind scientists praise him. On the contrary, how happy is the writer, obedient to the suggestions of Stupidity: he will not burrow at night, but he writes down everything that wags his mind, risking nothing but a few pennies spent on paper, and knowing in advance that the more nonsense there is in his scriptures, the more truly he will please the majority, that is, all fools and ignoramuses. But it’s more fun when fools start to praise fools, ignorant ignoramuses, when they mutually glorify each other in flattering messages and verses. As for the theologians, is it not better not to touch this poisonous plant, although they are in great debt to Stupidity.
However, no one should forget the measure and the border, and therefore says Stupidity: “Be sound, applaud, live, drink, the glorious followers of the mysteries of Moria.”
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