Summary Wide Carnival


A T. Averchenko
Wide Carnival
Kulakov should come “the right” guest, there is no need to reckon with the costs. And here he stands in front of the owner of the gastronomic store: “Six and a half? You can go crazy! We, Mihailo Polikarpich, then do this… You give me a box of grainy in a pound, and tomorrow by weight you will take back… What we eat “I’ll pay for it.” We do not eat it, but the guest will be on the pancakes, so for the guest, eh? ” The owner, cursing the greedy buyer, agrees.
Kulakov led the guest to the table and said, rubbing his hands:
“Vodka before blink, eh?” Here is this glass, more. The guest looked around the desk with an experienced look.
“No, I’ll ask the cognac!” Here is this glass, more. The owner sighed and whispered:
“As you wish.” Then you are a guest.
And he poured a glass, trying not to add a half-finger.

Chubby, plump! – cheerfully cried the guest…
– Well, your health! And I’ll just have a drink. I ask you to have a snack: here are the fungi, herring, sprats…
– Those-those-those! the guest shouted enthusiastically. “What I see!” Grainy caviar, and, it seems, is not bad! And you, villain, be silent!
“Yes, caviar,” whispered Kulakov, with whitened lips. – Of course, you can caviar… Please, here’s a spoon.
– What? Tea? Raise above. Grainy caviar is good when it is eaten with a tablespoon. Oh, good! I’ll ask for another glass of cognac. Why are you so gloomy? Has something happened?
The master pushed the plate with the herring and patiently replied:
“Life does not make you happy!” The general decline of things… The expensiveness of essentials, not to mention luxury goods… Yes, by the way, do you know how much now this granular caviar? Six and a half!
The guest closed his eyes.
– What are you saying? But we are for it! Six hryvnia… for bread…
yes in the mouth… Gum! So she’s punished.
The owner squeezed his fists under the table and, trying to smile, cheerfully exclaimed:
“I strongly recommend you herring!” In the mouth melts.
“Is it melting?” Tell me. To melt, she, mean, melts, and then let her down – she will endure with heartburn. But the caviar, mind you, the most respected one, will not give it away. Blah-agorodne-shaya lady!
“What do you say about these babies?” The Germans consider the sprat to be the best snack!
“So the Germans,” the guest reasoned. – And we, my friend, are Russian. A wide nature! .. And brandy is good! With caviar.
The owner looked into the jar, extinguished a soundless groan in his chest, and pushed the ham to the guest.
– For some reason you do not eat ham… Are you embarrassed?
– What do you! I feel right at home!
“Suppose, at home, you would not have a spoonful of spoonfuls of caviar at home,” Kulakov wanted to say out loud, but thought it over himself, and said aloud:
“Here are the pancakes.” With butter and sour cream.
“And with caviar, add,” the guest said morally. – Caviar – this is Martha and Onega all pancake, as one psalm-reader used to say. Do you understand? It was he who spoke instead of Alpha and Omega… Martha and Onega! What is it? Hehe!
Then the guest looked at the table stupidly and exclaimed in surprise:
– Hell! Caviar is alive! I bring her here, and she moves back… Absolutely imperceptibly!
– Really? – the sad owner was surprised and added: – And here we again will move it.
And he pushed the fungus.
“Yes it’s fungi,” the guest said good-naturedly.
“And you… what did you want?”
– Caviar. There’s still a bit to the pancakes.
– Lord! Kulakov grated, glaring at the guest viciously.
– What?
– Eat, please, eat!
– I eat it.
The owner’s teeth pounded, as in a fever.
– Eat, eat! You ate a little calves, eat more… Eat more.
– Thank you. I still have it with cognac. Nice cognac.
“Nice cognac!” You and the konyachishku still drink… Maybe you can discover champagne, pineapples, eh? Eat!
– A business! Only you, buddy, do not run ahead… Let’s leave room for champagne and pineapple… While I’m this brunette. It seems that there is still a little left?
“Cush… eat it!” – screaming with insane eyes, the owner squealed. “Maybe a tablespoon is small?” Do not give a distinctive? Why are you shy – eat! Champagne? And the champagne ladies! Maybe you like my new fur coat? Take your fur coat! Vest do you like? I’ll take off my vest! Take the chairs, the dresser, the mirror… Do you need the money? Grab your wallet, eat me yourself… Do not be shy, be at home! Ha-ha-ha!
And, hysterically laughing and crying, Kulakov fell on the sofa. The guest looked at him in horror and bewilderment, the guest looked at him, and the hand with the last spoonful of caviar froze in the air motionlessly.


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Summary Wide Carnival