The role of the father in the life of the child

The role of the father in the life of the child


Man – sounds proud and responsible! And let everyone fill it with its own content, in the minds of the majority, the concept of “man” is associated with firmness, courage, determination, strength and boldness. How often do you hear “Be a man!”, “Behave like a man”, “a real man,” while “a real woman,” “be a woman!” – you will agree, you will hear hardly. And despite the rapid feminization of society, the role of the man is undoubtedly significant, as it is at all times.

Traditionally, it is considered that the upbringing of children is the responsibility of the mother. However, it should be noted that the institution of paternity is currently gaining momentum. Modern society knows many examples of families (and gradually their number increases), where the functions of upbringing and caring for the child are partly or completely taken up by men. 10 years ago, psychologists, appealing to the students of the psychological faculty, called for developing and raising the authority of paternity, speaking of the enormous influence of men on the formation of the psyche of the child. In this regard, it is important to understand what exactly this influence consists of.

First of all, I would like to note that in this article we deliberately use the term “man” as a synonym for the word “father”, because the features of influence described below can be applied both to the child’s own daddy and to another, who takes an active part in his upbringing. Psychologists say that up to 5 years a child, especially a boy, needs a man, but if there is no father, then he can be replaced by his grandfather, uncle, stepfather, family friend, etc. The main thing is that in his person the child gained authority and worthy model to follow.

Why 5 years? The fact is that by this age the sex-identification must occur in the child, that is, the child must correlate himself in accordance with his gender. In other words, a five-year-old girl must understand that she will grow up and become a woman, a mother, and a boy, respectively, a man and a father. We adults think that this is happening by itself, but this is a complex psycho-social process associated with the sexual development of the child. And strangely enough, it is in the period of up to 5 years that the foundations of masculine and feminine behavior are laid, which later define us as representatives



of one or the other sex.

So, why does a child need a man? There is one important rule: from the relationship with the parent of the same sex (for girls with mom, for boys and dad) depends on our self-esteem and attitude to ourselves; and the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex determines our relationship with people of the opposite sex in the future. That is, depending on how harmonious the relationship was between the girl and her father, her attitude towards men in the future will depend: will, for example, trust, respect for them, or vice versa, fear, misunderstanding, distrust and fear. Accordingly, everything happens in boys. Thus, the father has a direct impact on the future personal and family life of the daughter: on the one hand, laying the image of the coveted man for her and forming an attitude toward men in general, on the other. As for the boys, then the man acts as a model for imitation, especially at the age of 2 to 5 years. The child adopts almost everything: intonations, gestures, gait, sight, verbal expressions, the manner of communication with his wife, friends and other people, behavioral habits, manner of rest, passion for one or another activity, etc. In other words, no matter how much mothers are told to their sons, how to behave, most likely, they will behave the way their fathers do. In this regard, it is very important to be aware of the potential and real influence of the father on the child. In addition, do not forget that it is the man who lays in his son the model of treatment of women in general, and with his wife, in particular. It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise before you get married, look at the behavior of your fiance’s father, and decide if you want your husband to be like that. especially at the age from 2 to 5 years. The child adopts almost everything: intonations, gestures, gait, sight, verbal expressions, the manner of communication with his wife, friends and other people, behavioral habits, manner of rest, passion for one or another activity, etc. In other words, no matter how much mothers are told to their sons, how to behave, most likely, they will behave the way their fathers do. In this regard, it is very important to be aware of the potential and real influence of the father on the child. In addition, do not forget that it is the man who lays in his son the model of treatment of women in general, and with his wife, in particular. It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise before you get married, look at the behavior of your fiance’s father, and decide if you want your husband to be like that. especially at the age from 2 to 5 years. The child adopts almost everything: intonations, gestures, gait, sight, verbal expressions, the manner of communication with his wife, friends and other people, behavioral habits, manner of rest, passion for one or another activity, etc. In other words, no matter how much mothers are told to their sons, how to behave, most likely, they will behave the way their fathers do. In this regard, it is very important to be aware of the potential and real influence of the father on the child. In addition, do not forget that it is the man who lays in his son the model of treatment of women in general, and with his wife, in particular. It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise before you get married, look at the behavior of your fiance’s father, and decide if you want your husband to be like that. sight, verbal expressions, the manner of communication with his wife, friends and other people, behavioral habits, manner of rest, passion for one or another activity, etc. In other words, no matter how much mothers told their sons how to behave, most likely they will lead themselves as their fathers do. In this regard, it is very important to be aware of the potential and real influence of the father on the child. In addition, do not forget that it is the man who lays in his son the model of treatment of women in general, and with his wife, in particular. It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise before you get married, look at the behavior of your fiance’s father, and decide if you want your husband to be like that. sight, verbal expressions, the manner of communication with his wife, friends and other people, behavioral habits, manner of rest, passion for one or another activity, etc. In other words, no matter how much mothers told their sons how to behave, most likely they will lead themselves as their fathers do. In this regard, it is very important to be aware of the potential and real influence of the father on the child. In addition, do not forget that it is the man who lays in his son the model of treatment of women in general, and with his wife, in particular. It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise before you get married, look at the behavior of your fiance’s father, and decide if you want your husband to be like that. how much mothers would not tell their sons how to behave, most likely, they will behave the way their fathers do. In this regard, it is very important to be aware of the potential and real influence of the father on the child. In addition, do not forget that it is the man who lays in his son the model of treatment of women in general, and with his wife, in particular. It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise before you get married, look at the behavior of your fiance’s father, and decide if you want your husband to be like that. how much mothers would not tell their sons how to behave, most likely, they will behave the way their fathers do. In this regard, it is very important to be aware of the potential and real influence of the father on the child. In addition, do not forget that it is the man who lays in his son the model of treatment of women in general, and with his wife, in particular. It’s not for nothing that psychologists advise before you get married, look at the behavior of your fiance’s father, and decide if you want your husband to be like that.

Speaking about the influence of fathers on the development of boys, we can not fail to mention the Oedipus complex, a phenomenon that is experienced by all men aged 2-5 years. The essence of it is this: at some point the boy begins to be very jealous of the mother to his father, he hates him, he can begin to bite, beat, repel, keep out of the way to the mother, but at the same time he loves his father and understands that this can not be done. In this very important period for the formation of a man, the patient’s understanding and understanding of his son’s attitude is necessary. It is important not to suppress it by force, but to accept and respect the feelings of the child. Depending on how successful the passage of this complex was by the child, the self-esteem and self-esteem of the man, his relationship with the father in the future depends largely on whether the man can recognize the authority of other men,

Thus, the influence of a man on the development and upbringing of a child, strangely enough, does not boil down to material support for his life and physical protection of his health, as many of us, unfortunately, believe. But outstripping the numerous accusations of women towards men about improper performance of their paternal duties, I would like to note that ideal fathers and real men are not born, they become, and here is our, a woman’s duty to help them to educate, skillfully send, find worthy authorities and support at the right time.



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The role of the father in the life of the child