NV Gogol the
The incident described, according to the narrator, happened in St. Petersburg, on March 25. Barber Ivan Yakovlevich, having eaten in the morning of fresh bread baked by his wife Praskovia Osipovna, finds in it a nose. Puzzled by this unattainable incident, having recognized the nose of the collegiate assessor Kovalev, he is in vain looking for a way to get rid of his find. Finally he throws him from Isakievsky Bridge and, against any expectation, is delayed by a quarter warder with large sideburns. The collegiate assessor Kovalev (who was more fond of being called a major), waking up the same morning with the intention of examining the pimple jumped up on the nose, does not even find out the very nose. Major Kovalev, who needs a decent appearance, for the purpose of his arrival in the capital in the search for a place in some prominent department and, possibly, (on the occasion of which he is familiar with the ladies in many houses: Chekhtyreva, State Councilor, Pelageya Grigoryevna Podtochina, staff officer), – goes to the chief policeman, but on the way meets his own nose (clad, however, in a gold-embroidered uniform and a hat with a plume, denouncing in him a state councilor). The nose sits in a carriage and goes to the Kazan Cathedral, where he prays with the air of the greatest piety.
Major Kovalev, at first shy, and then calling himself a direct nose with his proper name, does not succeed in his intentions and, distracted by a lady in a hat, light as a cake, loses an uncompromising interlocutor. Not finding the house of the chief policeman, Kovalyov goes to a newspaper expedition, wanting to announce the loss, but the gray-haired official refuses to him (“The newspaper can lose reputation”) and, full of compassion, suggests sniffing tobacco, which completely upsets Major Kovalev. He goes to the private bailiff, but finds him in a position to sleep after dinner and hears irritated remarks about “all sorts of majors” who are dragging the devil knows where, and that a decent person will not be torn off his nose. Coming home, saddened Kovalyov ponders the reasons for... the strange loss and decides that the wine to all the staff officer of the Undercover, on whose daughter he was not in a hurry to get married, and she, rightly from revenge, hired some grandmothers. The sudden appearance of a police officer who brought a nose wrapped in a piece of paper and announced that he was intercepted on the way to Riga with a false passport, – plunges Kovalev into a joyful unconsciousness.
However, its joy is premature: the nose does not stick to the old place. The called doctor does not undertake to put a nose, assuring that it will be even worse, and encourages Kovalev to put a nose in a jar of alcohol and sell for a decent amount of money. The unfortunate Kovalev writes the staff officer Podtochina, reproaching, threatening and demanding immediately to return the nose to the place. The response of the staff officer reveals her complete innocence, for she reveals a degree of misunderstanding that can not be imagined on purpose.
Meanwhile, rumors spread around the capital and acquire many rumors: they say that Kovalev strolls along Nevsky just three times in front of the collegiate assessor, then – that he is in Junker’s shop, then – in the Tavrichesky garden; a lot of people flock to all these places, and enterprising speculators build benches for the convenience of observation. Anyway, but on April 7th the nose found itself again in its place. To the happy Kovalev is the barber Ivan Yakovlevich and shaves it with the utmost care and embarrassment. On one day, Major Kovalev manages everywhere: he meets with the daughter-in-law of the staff officer Podtochina and his daughter, in a conversation with whom the snuff is thoroughly smelling, to the confectionery and the department where he sought places, and to his friend, also a collegiate assessor or major.
The description of his happy mood is interrupted by the writer’s sudden admission that there is much implausibility in the history of this one and that it is especially surprising that there are authors taking such stories. For some reasoning, the writer still states that the incidents are so rare, but still happen.
NV Gogol the