The action of this work, saturated in accordance with the literary fashion of the era of pseudo-eastern color, takes place in Africa, in the capital of the Congo-Banze empire, in which Paris is easily discerned with its mores, quirks, and also quite real inhabitants.
From 1500000003200001 the Sultan Mangogul ruled the Creation of the world in the Congo. When he was born, his father, the glorious Ergebzade, did not call the son of the fairies to the cradle, for most of the princes, the education of which was entrusted to these feminine minds, turned out to be fools. Ergebzade only ordered the main Garuspeku Kodendo to compose a baby horoscope. But Kodendo, nominated exclusively due to the merits of his great-uncle – a great cook, could not read on the stars, and could not predict the fate of the child. The prince’s childhood was the most ordinary: before he had learned to speak, he spoke a lot of beautiful things and in four years gave material for the whole “Mangogulyada”, and at the age of twenty he was able to drink, eat and sleep no worse than any ruler of his age.
Moved by the senseless whim, peculiar to the great of this world, the old Ergebzed handed the crown to his son – and he became a brilliant monarch. He won many battles, increased the empire, cleaned up the finances, corrected the laws, even established the academies, and did all this – to the astonishment of scientists – without knowing a word of Latin. And Mangogul was soft, kind, cheerful, handsome and intelligent. Many women sought his favor, but for several years already the beautiful young Mirzoza was in the heart of the Sultan. Gentle lovers never concealed anything from each other and were perfectly happy. But sometimes they missed. And one day Mirzoza, sitting at the knitting, said: “You are fed up, sir.” But the genius of Kukufa, your kinsman and friend, will help you entertain yourself.
And the genius of Kukufa, the old hypochondriac, took refuge in solitude to take advantage of the improvement of the Great Pagoda. Wrapped in a sack and wrapped in a rope, he sleeps on a mat – but it may seem as if he is contemplating…
At the call of the sultan, Kukufa arrives, holding the legs of two large owls, and hands Mangogul a silver ring. If you turn his stone in front of any woman, then the most intimate part of her body, her treasure, will tell about all
the adventures of her mistress. Put on the little finger, the ring makes its owner invisible and carries it anywhere.
Mangogul is delighted and wants to try Mirzoza, but he does not dare: firstly, he completely trusts her, and secondly, she is afraid to learn the bitter truth, lose her beloved and die from grief. Mirzoza also begs not to put her to the test: the beauty is deeply offended by the Sultan’s distrust, which threatens to kill their love.
After swearing Mirzozet never to feel the rings on her, Mangogul goes to the chambers of the elder Sultan of Manimonband and leads a ring to one of the ladies present there – a charming prank to Alsina, who cute chats with her Emir husband, although they have been married for a week and, according to custom, can now not even meet. Prior to the wedding, the charmer managed to convince the amir who was in love that all the rumors about her were just a heinous lie, now Alsina’s treasure loudly proclaimed how proud that her mistress had become an important person and tells what tricks she had to go to convince the ardent emir in his innocence. Here Alsina reasonably falls into a swoon, and the courtiers explain what happened with a hysterical fit, starting, so to speak, from the lower region.
This incident made a lot of noise. The speech of Alsina’s treasure was published, corrected, supplemented and commented on. Beauty was “famous” for the whole country, which, however, she apprehended with absolute composure. But Mirzoza is sad: the sultan is going to make trouble in all the houses, open his eyes to his husbands, bring his lovers into despair, ruin women, dishonor the girls… Yes, Mangogul is determined to continue playing amusingly!
Over the phenomenon of talking treasures, the best minds of the Academy of Sciences of Banza are fighting. This phenomenon confounds the adherents of both scientific schools of the Congo – and the whirlwinds, led by the great Olibri, and the entourage led by the great Chirchino. Whirlwind Persiflo, who published treatises on an infinite number of objects unknown to him, connects the chatter of treasures with the tides of the sea, and the scholar Orokot believes that the treasures always spoke, but quietly, now, when the liberty of speech has become such that he shamelessly talks about the most intimate things, treasures squealed at the top of their voice. Soon the dispute of the wise men becomes stormy: from the question they leave, lose the thread, find it and lose it again, become bitter, reach screams, then until mutual insults – at which the Academy meeting ends.
Priests declare the chatter of treasures the subject of their competence. Brahmins-hypocrites, gluttons and libertines, ascribe this miracle to the evil spirit of Kadabre; so they try to hide their own sins – and for that reason any Brahmin hypocrite will sacrifice all the pagodas and altars. A righteous Brahmin in a large mosque declares that the chatter of treasures is a punishment that Brama brought down on a society that had been mired in vices. Hearing this, people shed tears, resort to prayers and even slightly to scourging, but do not change anything in their lives.
True, the women of the Congo are trembling: here from the tongue something stupid always breaks down – so what can weave a treasure?! However, the ladies believe that the chatter of treasures will soon come into custom – not to give up because of it from gallant adventures! One of Banza’s many fraudsters, whom poverty made inventive, is one of the many fraudsters in the city – a certain Mr. Eolipil, who has been reading erudist lectures for several years, announces that he has invented gags for treasures. “Misbows” these immediately come into fashion, and women part with them, only making sure that they are more harmed than good.
So, Zelida and Sophia, two hypocritical friends who for 15 years hid their intrigues with such art that everyone considered these ladies to be examples of virtue, now they send in a panic for the jeweler Frenicol, after long trades they buy from him the tiniest “muzzles” – and soon over the girlfriends laughs the whole city, who has learned this story from Zelida’s maid and from the jeweler himself. Sophia decides that, having lost a good name, we must at least keep at least the pleasures, and embarks on all the heavy ones, Zelida, from grief, goes to the monastery. The poor woman genuinely loved her husband and betrayed him only under the influence of bad morals reigning in the light. After all, beauties have been taught since childhood to go in for a house and be with their husband – it means to bury oneself alive…
Did not help “muzzled” and beautiful Zelais. When the sultan directs her ring to her, her treasure begins to wheeze, and she herself falls unconscious, and the doctor Orcotom, removing from his unhappy “muzzle”, sees the laced treasure in a state of acute paroxysm. So it turns out that the gag can kill – from the chatter no one has died yet. Therefore, the ladies refuse “muzzles” and are now limited to hysterics. “Without lovers and hysteria, one can not rotate at all in the light,” notes one courtier about this.
Sultan arranges 30 samples of the ring – and what just does not hear! At the intimate dinner at Mirzoza, the treasure of one lady tiredly lists all her lovers, and although the courtmen convince the enraged husband not to get upset because of such nonsense, he locks his wife in a monastery. Following her, the sultan sets a ring on the treasure of nuns and learns how many babies these “virgins” gave birth. The treasure of the passionate gambler Manila recalls how many times she paid her hostess’s card debts and earned her money for the game, generalizing the old Brahmin chapter and bankrupting the financier Tyrkares. In the opera, the sultan directs the ring to the chorus, and their treasures begin to sing frivolous couplets, but soon the play ends and The treasures of actresses go where they will not be engaged in singing.
But most of all the sultan is shocked by the story of Felisa – not so beautiful, but charming twenty-five-year-old wife of the 50-year-old Emir Sambuco, a rich and famous commander and diplomat. While he was working for the glory of the Congo, Felisa’s treasure absorbed the fame, career and life of the brave Colonel Zermunzaid, who, indulging in a love affair with Felisa, did not notice the approach of the enemy; more than three thousand people died, Felisa with the cry of “Woe to the Defeated!” rushed to the bed, where all through the night she stormed out of her embrace in the arms of the enemy general, and then suffered in captivity with the young and ardent Emperor Benin. But the husband bought Felis, and her treasure quickly absorbed all the colossal incomes, three ponds and two high-bush forests of the Brahmin, friend of Sambuco, and then devoured a beautiful estate,
But the ancient treasure of the elderly Gary, already forgotten about the first adventures of her mistress, tells of her second husband, the poor Gascon nobleman Sendora. Poverty has won his aversion to wrinkles and the four favorite dogs of Gary. On the wedding night he was brutally bitten by dogs and then persuaded the old woman to drive the dogs out of the bedroom. Finally Sendor threw his beloved wife’s wife-in-law out the window, and for all her life Hariya hated the murderer-husband, whom she had pulled out of poverty.
And in the secluded house of Senator Hippomanes, who, instead of thinking about the destinies of the country, is betrayed by secret depravity, the treasure of another lady of this nobleman, the gorgeous Alfana, complains about her difficult life: Alfana’s mother squandered the whole family, and now her daughter has to earn a famous way…
The treasure of the noble lady Erifila fervently encourages the actor Orgolia. On a date with a beauty, he prefers to pick at the nose – a gesture very theatrical, admiring connoisseurs – and admires only himself and his talents.
Treasure lanky, blond, cheeky and debauched Fanny scolds the illustrious ancestors of her mistress (“The stupid position of titled treasures!”) And remembers how Fanny suffered for a whole day and a half due to the fact that no one likes her. “But in fact the lover demands from the beloved reciprocal feeling – and fidelity in addition!” – said to her then the young philosopher Amizadar and sadly began talking about his dead beloved. Having opened hearts to each other, they have learned the greatest happiness, unknown to the less loving and less sincere mortals. But this is not for society ladies. And though Fanny’s treasure is delighted with Amizadar, she herself decides that he and his strange ideals are just dangerous…
During the masquerade ball, the sultan listens to the treasures of the townsfolk: some want pleasures, others want money. And after the ball, two officers almost kill each other: Amina, the mistress of Alibega, gave hope to Nasses! But Amina’s treasure confesses that it was not Nasses who gave hope, but his valet lackey. How stupid men! They think that such trifles as ranks and titles can deceive a woman’s treasure! The officers in horror recoil from Amina, and the sultan listens to the treasure of Kipriya – a dried-up person who wants to be considered a blonde. In her youth she danced in the Moroccan theater; the founder – Megemet Tripadhud brought her to Paris and left, but the courtiers were deceived by the Moroccan woman, and she earned a lot of money. However, great talents need a big stage. In the sweat of her face, Kiprias worked in London, Vienna, Rome, Spain and India, visited Constantinople – but she did not like the country where the treasure is locked up, although the Muslims are distinguished by the ease of the French, the ardent English, the strength of the Germans, the staunchness of the Spaniards and the touch of Italian sophistication. Then Kipriya gloriously worked in the Congo, and becoming nothing good for, I picked up a noble and rich good-natured husband. About his adventures, the treasure traveler talks in English, Italian, Spanish and Latin, but the author does not recommend translating these obscenities to ladies.
However, sometimes the Sultan uses a magic ring and for good. The ring helps to solve the problem of pensions, about which crowds of widows who lost their husbands during the victorious wars of the sultan are busy. The treasures of these women report that the fathers of their children are not husbands-heroes, who were killed not by their enemies, but by lovers of wives, and the widow’s pensions will be spent on the maintenance of cute lackeys and actors… The ring saves from the death penalty through the castration of a noble handsome Kersaela: his mistress, young beautiful Fatima, hearing that he was going to leave her for the dancer, out of vengeance declares that he, Fatima, raped her. Having learned the truth, the sultan solemnly planting the villain and her treasure under the castle – but rescues from the distant estate of the charming Egle, who was locked up there by a jealous husband, the great keeper of Selebi, who listened to the false lies of her enemies; and she herself,
The sultan and the treasures of the ladies, whose connections the court dandies boast, are experiencing the sultan and finds out that among the many lovers of these women there was not one of those who loudly disgraced their names.
After testing the ring, the Sultan begins to seriously doubt the power of the pagodas, the honesty of men and the virtue of women. The treasures of the latter reason, like the treasure of mares! And the sultan directs the ring to his blue-eyed horse of golden suit, in anger expelling the secretary Zigzag, who dared to think that he was a servant of the Sultan, and not his horse – and forgot that when entering the houses of the greats of this world, one must leave his beliefs beyond the threshold. The neighing of the filly, respectfully recorded by another secretary, the learned men declare: a) a touching monologue from the ancient Greek tragedy; b) an important fragment of Egyptian theology; c) the beginning of the funerary speech at the grave of Hannibal; d) Chinese prayer. And only Gulliver, who returned from the country of horses, easily translates the spelling of spelling mistakes about the love of the old pasha and a small filly,
Mirzoza is philosophizing. She declares her feet as the place of the soul’s abode in the baby. With age, the soul rises higher – and many women for life remain in the treasure. It determines the behavior of such individuals. But in a truly virtuous lady, the soul is in the head and in the heart; and only one gently loved person is attracted by such a lady and the call of the heart, and the voice of the treasure. The Sultan refuses to believe that women in general have a soul. With laughter, he reads Mirzoze’s notes with traveler’s exhausted wanderings, sent to a distant island to gain wisdom. On the island, the priests, choosing married couples, carefully ensure that the treasures of the bride and groom ideally match in shape, size and temperature, and the most temperamental persons are given the honorable duty to serve the whole society. “After all, everything is conditional, says the high priest of the island. “You call crime what we consider virtue as a crime…”
Mirzosa is shocked. The Sultan also notes that if the beloved had been more stupid and always listened to him with enthusiasm, it would have brought them very close! Here the islanders are engaged in their own business. And in the Congo – each is not his own. Although there and then very funny fashion. After all, in the field of fashion, madmen publish laws for the smart, and courtesans – for honest women…
However, if the Sultan manages to find these most honest women, he is ready to give Mirzoz a country palace and a charming porcelain monkey. After all, even the lovely Egle, resenting her husband, lost to Almansor… But Frikamona, having spent her youth in the monastery, does not allow men to enter the doorway, she lives surrounded by modest girls and adores her friend Akaris. And another lady, Kallipiga, complains that her beloved Mirolo does not pay attention to her treasure, preferring completely different pleasures. Sultan admired the virtue of these ladies, but for some reason Mirzoz does not share his enthusiasm.
At leisure Mangogul, Mirzoz, elderly courtier Selim and writer Rikarik – a man erudite, but nevertheless clever – argue about literature. Rikarik extols ancient writers, Selim defends modern writers, describing true human feelings. “What do I care about the rules of poetics? If only I liked the book!” – he says. “It’s only the truth that can be liked and touched,” Mirzoza agrees. “But are those pompous acts put in theaters like a real life?!”
And at night Mirzoza has beautiful statues of great writers and thinkers from different eras. Gloomy dogmatists fumigate the statue with incense, which damages the statues a little, and the pygmies spit on them, which does not harm the statues at all. Other pygmies cut off the living heads of the nose and ears – correct the classics…
Tired of philosophizing the sultan also dreams a dream. Mangogul on the hippogriff rises into a huge building floating in a muddy space, full of old half-naked cripples and freaks with important faces. Balancing on the tip of the needle, an almost naked old man blows soap bubbles. “This is a country of hypotheses,” Sultan Platon explains, “and the scraps of cloth on the bodies of philosophers are the remains of Socrates’s clothes…” Here the Sultan sees a weak child who in his eyes turns into a mighty giant with a torch in his hand, illuminating the whole world. It is an experience that in one blow ruins the shaky building of hypotheses.
Sultan magician Blokulokus nicknamed the Empty Dream talks about night visions. It’s all about our perception… After all, in the wake of some people we take for clever men, others for brave ones, old fools consider themselves beauties, and scientists publish their nighttime nonsense in the form of scientific works…
Sixty-year-old Selim, handsome, noble, graceful, wise, who was the favorite of all lovers in his youth, who became famous in the state arena and gained universal respect, admits that he has not been able to comprehend women and can only worship their. He lost his innocence with the young cousin Emilia as a boy; she died in childbirth, and Selima was scolded and sent to travel. In Tunisia, he climbed the rope ladder to the wife of a pirate, on his way to Europe, caressed during a storm a charming Portuguese, while her jealous husband stood on the bridge of the captain; in Madrid, Selim loved the beautiful Spaniard, but he loved life even more, but because he fled from the wife of the beautiful. Selim knew frivolous Frenchwomen, cold-looking, but ardent and vindictive Englishwomen, stiff-looking German women, skillful in the caress of Italians. Four years later, Selim returned to his home quite educated; Since he was also interested in serious things, studying military affairs and dancing, he received a high post and began to participate in all the amusements of Prince Ergebzeda. In Banz, Selim recognized women of all ages, nations and estates-and of dissolute secular women, and hypocritical bourgeois, and nuns, who had been disguised as disobedient novices. And everywhere instead of sincere feelings he found only lies and pretense. At thirty, Selim married for the sake of procreation; The couple treated each other as they should, cold and decent. But somehow Selim met the charming Sidaliz – the wife of the colonel Spagi Ostaluk, a glorious man, but a terrible monster and jealous. With great difficulty, completely changed, Selima managed to win the heart of virtuous Sidalisa, that without respect, love can not be. Selim hid the adored woman in his house, but the jealous husband tracked down the fugitives and pierced his wife’s breast with a dagger. Selim finished the scoundrel and mourned his beloved for a long time, but then realized that there was no eternal grief and for five years now he had been bound by tender feelings with the charming Fulvia. Sultan hastens to test her treasure – and it turns out that this titled lady in a passionate desire to acquire an heir for ten years is given to all in a row. Offended Selim is thinking of retiring from the court and becoming a philosopher, but the sultan keeps him in the capital, where Selim continues to enjoy universal love. that eternal grief does not happen and for five years now has been bound by tender feelings with the charming Fulvia. Sultan hastens to test her treasure – and it turns out that this titled lady in a passionate desire to acquire an heir for ten years is given to all in a row. Offended Selim is thinking of retiring from the court and becoming a philosopher, but the sultan keeps him in the capital, where Selim continues to enjoy universal love. that eternal grief does not happen and for five years now has been bound by tender feelings with the charming Fulvia. Sultan hastens to test her treasure – and it turns out that this titled lady in a passionate desire to acquire an heir for ten years is given to all in a row. Offended Selim is thinking of retiring from the court and becoming a philosopher, but the sultan keeps him in the capital, where Selim continues to enjoy universal love.
He tells Mirzoza about the “good old days”, “the golden age of the Congo” – the reign of Mangogul’s grandfather, Sultan Kanoglu (hint of Louis XIV). Yes, there was a lot of brilliance – but what poverty and what disenfranchisement! But the measure of the greatness of the sovereign is the happiness of his subjects. Kanoglu also turned his attendants into puppets, and he himself became a puppet, which was ruled by an old decrepit fairy (a hint of Mme de Maintenon).
And the Sultan in the meantime is experiencing the treasure of Zaida – a lady with an impeccable reputation. Both the heart and the beauty of the beauty speak with one voice of love for Zuleyman. True, Zaida is married to the disgusting Kermadess… And yet the Sultan shakes the image of the faithful and beautiful Zaida – and Mangogul himself makes her an indiscreet proposal, after receiving a decisive refusal, returns to the captivating Mirzosa.
And she, a fan of high principles, absolutely not suitable for her age, or her position, or her face, praises pure love based on friendship. Sultan and Selim laugh. Without the call of the flesh there is no love! And Selim tells the story of the beautiful young man Gilase. The great idol deprived him of his ability to satisfy passion and prophesy that only a woman who will not stop loving him will cure the unfortunate, after learning about his misfortune. But all women – even the ardent worshipers of Platonic love, the old women and the virgin vestals – recoil from Gilas. Heals only the beautiful Iffis, on which lies the same spell. Gilas with such fervor expresses her gratitude to him, that he soon begins to face the return of the disease…
Then comes the news of the death of Sulamek – a bad dancer, who thanks to the efforts of the fans became a teacher of the Sultan’s dances, and then, with the help of curtsey – and the great vizier, in which position he did fifteen years. During the brilliant tombstone speech of the preacher Brrububu Mirzoz, which lies always leads to a hysterical state, he falls into lethargy. To check if the beauty is alive, the sultan sends a ring to her, and Mirzoza’s treasure declares that, true to the sultan to the grave, it can not part with the beloved and go to the next world. A woken up favorite is offended by the fact that the Sultan has broken the promise, but the latter swears in ecstasy in her eternal love. Forgiving the Tsar, the favorite still begs him to return the ring to Kukuf and not to disturb his heart or the whole country. This is the sultan’s doing.