Tarelkin’s death Tarelkin
did not get a penny from his chief Varvavin – not only for the Muromsky case, but also for many subsequent cases. However, he continued to live on a broad foot.
And now his situation is not disastrous, but catastrophic. Countless lenders are taking them by the throat. He can not escape dismissal from the service and debt prison.
And this is at a time when he can tear off a huge jackpot from Varravin! In his hands “the entire Varvavin intimate correspondence,” that is, the papers that accuse Varravin of bribery and other malfeasance, Tarelkin stole them from the chief.
But Varravin, to whom Tarelkin had already hinted about the papers, would wipe it into powder. In any case, it will help the creditors immediately plant it in the “Siberian”. How to be? But how – to imitate your own death! With dead money you will not take. But with Varravin Tarelkin “the money is sweet, the ruble for the ruble, the jackpot for the jackpot will pull” – wait a year or two, and then, “having been placed in a safe place,” will start evil and boldly blackmail His Excellency!
In addition, the case for “death” is the most suitable. Tarelkin just – from the cemetery. “I buried the bones” of my apartment-mate, the out-of-court adviser of the Force Silych Kopylov. And he, dear, as prescribed in his form (passport), “single.”
Tarelkin makes up for Kopylov, a sixty-year old man. Rows in his clothes. Partes with his wig, which he wore constantly, hiding the bald patch. He takes out his false teeth and hunches. Attaches sideburns… Neither give nor take – Kopylov!
Yes, but now we need to bury Tarelkin – “to arrange an official, undoubted death.” To this end, the police have already been informed of his death. Colleagues are invited to the apartment of the deceased. There is also the deceased. In the coffin in the middle of the mourning darkened room is a wadded doll in Tarelkin’s uniform. So that they did not approach her closely and especially did not look at her, Tarelkin orders Mavrusha’s maid to buy rotten fish and put it in the coffin, and when the colleagues come to say and lament: because they say Tarelkin so much roused that he has been lying for a long time, there is no money to bury. Let them, the scoundrels, bury the comrade to their own expense!
The apartment, filled with an intolerable stench, is officials headed by Varravin. Mavrusha excellently plays the performance. The stink is also playing a role, encouraging colleagues to give Mavrusha money for funerals and get out of the stinking apartment. Everyone leaves her with relief.
Varravin alone is terribly worried: Mavrusha (at Tarelkin’s instigation) let him know that the deceased was hiding some secret papers, but where? God knows, the police will come to describe the property – find out. For Varravin this is death! He must find these papers until they fall into the hands of the authorities. And so he returns to Tarelkin’s apartment again.
Varravin menacingly orders Mavrushe to show these papers to the deceased. But of course, he can not find his letters among them. They are in the bosom of Tarelkin, who, laughing, hides here, in the apartment, on the Kopylov half, separated by a screen.
Finally, the police, the quartermaster supervisor Rasplyuev, is also being declared. Yes, yes, the same Rasplyuev, a swindler and a sharper! Now he is in office. Varravin immediately notices all the properties of the quarter warder – both dull complaisance, and scanty, and aggressiveness. They are on his hand. He orders Rasplyuyev to “interview” Mavrush for some missing papers of the deceased. Rasplyuev “interrogates” the servant, punching her in the nose with her fist. But there is no result.
Varravin is in despair. For Tarelkin, on the contrary, everything is fine. He is already openly walking around the apartment under the guise of Kopylov. Already endure and the coffin with its “body”. And Tarelkin even utters a memorial speech on the “deceased” in the presence of Varravin and other officials. The gloomy comic extravaganza is in full swing!
Tarelkin collects suitcases – he will go from Petersburg to Moscow and there he will wait for his time. After the gatherings, Rasplyuev, who returned to the apartment from the funeral, finds him. Creditors are also crowded here, eager to take the debtor into circulation. Tarelkin with pleasure picks them out – the debtor rested, and the property is described!
But here’s another creditor – some captain of the Polutatarins… It’s strange! – such a creditor did not have Tarelkin… And what is he, a scoundrel, weaving?! He allegedly lent the deceased a gold watch. And now he needs to look for them – everywhere! even in papers… Tarelkin does not yet know that the creditor is his cunning boss, disguised as a worn military overcoat, glued a thick mustache, put on a wig and green glasses.
However, and Varravin does not recognize Tarelkin. Zasovaraya teeth Rasplyuyeva and assuring the imaginary Kopylov that the deceased was a notorious scoundrel and swindler, he rummages in cabinets and chests of drawers – looking for his letters. Tarelkin, forgetting from resentment and anger, with excessive heat protects the “deceased”. Word for word, – the conversation turns into a scandal. Captain Polutatarinov, aka Varravin, suddenly notices that Kopylov looks very much like Tarelkin – only hair and teeth are missing. And here in the chest of drawers are found Tarelkin’s wig and teeth!!
With the help of Rasplyuev, who tied the “deceased” with a towel, “Polutatarinov” forces a wig on the head of “Kopylov”, inserts his teeth… Yes it’s Tarelkin! Undoubtedly! “Polutatarinov” knew him well! Rasplyuev believes that there is a random similarity here – he personally buried Tarelkin. However, Varravin, remaining for Rasplyuev captain Polutatarinov (Tarelkin already learned of his boss), advises the quarter warder “this subject is not allowed to release and arrested.” Rasplyuev is studying a Kopylovsky passport – he seems to be in order.
At this moment from the police unit is the subordinate Rasplyuyev’s Kashkal Muscat with the papers, from which it appears that the court counselor Sila Sylich Kopylov died. Ba! Rasplyuev is now in utter dismay, no – in horror! Kopylov died… Tarelkin died… And who, then, is this fantastic gentleman who, according to Kopylov’s passport, looks like Tarelkin?!
And here Varravin, who continues to play the role of a volunteer captain, takes the situation into his own hands. He inspires Rasplyuyev that before him is a ghoul, werewolf! He must be twisted with ropes, dragged to the police station and put in the “secret”, that is, in the punishment cell.
Now everything is going smoothly for Varravin. Associated Tarelkin is in a “secret”. Rasplyuev enthusiastically reports to the private bailiff Okhu that “at the apartment of the deceased Tarelkin and the deceased Kopylov” he took a werewolf. It’s serious. The bailiff rushes to report it to his superiors. When suddenly Varravin is already in its own form. “Visually” into the matter, he declares that it is archaic – “supernatural.” For his investigation, ranks and orders will surely be given! And if to report to the authorities, it will lower its investigator – all the honors will go to the stranger. Better to unwind the case yourself. The werewolf, for the speedy promotion of the case, should be thirsty, absolutely not to give him water: from this the werewolves do not die, but only come to the “strong yearning”.
Through the efforts of Varravin, Rasplyuev is appointed the chief investigator in the case of werewolves. Helps him Oh, Musketeers Kachala and Shatala.
And the matter spins to its fullest!
Arrests, beaten, interrogated, put in a “secret” or taxed by anyone who falls under the arm – from the janitor and the laundress to the merchant and the landowner, In fear of the investigators, witnesses give any required testimony. And how not to give! It’s not just a “supernatural” thing. Business is of national importance! The main werewolf, thirsty, sincerely shows that the werewolves are a “whole party”. His accomplices – “the whole of Petersburg and all of Moscow.” Yes there! Rasplyuev “of such an opinion,” that werewolves are subject to “all our fatherland.” And therefore, “it should be decided by the rule: everyone should be arrested”, everyone “suspect” and “miss” !! “All ours,” Rasplyuev and Okh yelled with a laugh, “All Russia will be demanded.”
But, in essence, only Tarelkin is required. When the “werewolf” comes from torture with thirst already before the dying “languor”, Varravin is. Interrogation now leads him.
He orders Kachala to bring in a “secret” glass of running water and, holding it before the eyes of the person under investigation, savagely extols the contents – ah, how good the water is! Tarelkin can drink it right now! But only in the event that Varravin returns his secret papers. Tarelkin gives them away. It is done. The official again beat all. Tarelkin can only beg Varravin to give him at least a passport Kopylov – it’s impossible to live without a passport! Having received the form and certificates of Kopylov, Tarelkin thanks the chief – “father of the native” – for mercy and is removed.